It was New Year’s Day earlier this week. There were fireworks and everything. And like last year, I’ve laid plans for future Craig to disappoint current Craig by ignoring New Year’s resolutions designed to make ‘Better Craig’ propagate throughout the timeline. For maximum guilt, my list is below. Feel free to steal these ideas for yourself – and duly avoid doing them too.
1. Install a proper Wi-Fi system
Like most people, I got a router from my broadband provider. Unlike most people, I got one that didn’t suck. But it’s now old. There’s a reasonable chance it’ll reboot while I’m writing this column. And then there are corners of the house that live in a terrifying pre-internet world, devoid of connectivity. So: a mesh network beckons. But the thought of reconnecting dozens of devices fills me with dread.
2. Stop doomscrolling
Twitter’s transformation into X weaned me off social media. For about five minutes. First came Mastodon. Then Bluesky. The latter’s mid-era Twitter tribute act is complete to the point my feed looks like it did during Twitter’s heyday. Which I now realise wasn’t necessarily good for my mental health. I doubt I’ll stop scrolling, but my feeds need less doom. More mini Schnauzers, comics and Lego, basically.
3. Resurrect treasured gadgets
In 2023, I downgraded an iPad Air to iOS 10 without setting it on fire. Now it’s an amazing repository for old iPad games. Last year, I brought back to life nothing bar nagging guilt about faulty kit gathering dust in a drawer. Especially a prized Game & Watch with an unhappy screen. I’m told it’s an easy fix. Knowing my lack of capabilities in reviving old gadgets, it may well take until I write my next New Year’s resolutions list to get this one done.
4. Rationalise my retro consoles
Speaking of kit gathering dust in drawers, it’s time to admit I have a problem. I collect retro consoles and I can’t stop. At one point, I displayed them atop little stands. Today, they’re jammed inside a claustrophobic space, like a real-world game of Tetris that uses devices that can actually play Tetris. Maybe if I stack them in a solid enough line, they’ll all just disappear?
5. Sort a personal backup archive
This New Year’s resolution is important, given that I realised last year that I don’t know where big blocks of my files are. Plenty likely lurk on one of the many hard drives I own, each powered by an excitingly unique cable. I did at least buy enough SSDs to copy everything over once it’s all sorted – and a big hard drive for backing up the SSDs. Now I need to copy/paste the enthusiasm to do the hard work.
6. Focus on physical media again
I use my phone too much. I rely on digital media. And I get choice paralysis. My cunning plan: be more deliberate regarding entertainment by returning to physical media. Play more CDs. Read more books. Play games on cartridges, even if modern carts are really SD cards in disguise. The iPhone can just get out of the way. Or use Apple Intelligence to list itself on eBay, with the description, “My owner appears to be having a mid-life crisis. Please buy me. Free shipping!”
7. Do all the things I failed at last year
This one might be a problem because I can’t find last year’s list, but I did write one for Stuff two years ago. And… I still haven’t done a bunch of those. I didn’t ‘simplify’ everything. I stopped using a streaks system. I continue to use my phone during late hours. All of which doesn’t bode well. At least this year I haven’t resolved to sort out my cables. Like that was ever going to happen.
